Humour is a typical human reaction to difficult times. Rotherham U3A Creative Writing Coordinator, Trev Gouldin’s answer to ‘Lockdown’ is to write a volume of verse describing his thoughts about this current, strange turn of events. Here’s one for starters.
“I’ve washed my hands repeatedly until they’re red and raw
And singing happy birthday has made my throat quite sore,
But I’m to blame because I’m star-struck and go back to do encores
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation
We only go out for our shopping and a walk around the block
And when it’s cold we have the heating on, all around the clock
When I get next quarter’s bill, I’m afraid I’ll die of shock
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation
I’ve now watched so many programs that the TV’s on the blink
It’s all so god-damned awful, it could drive a man to drink
It’s that bad I have ‘Miranda’ set up on a series link
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation
For something different for our dinner Margaret searches her cookbooks
Then she goes into the kitchen, opening the fridge to take a look,
But there’s so little, it’s like an episode of ‘Ready Steady Cook’
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation
We can only exercise locally so our walks are much the same
At first, I’d count the birds we saw as a diversionary game
But we’ve been around so many times we know the birds by name.
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation
My wife’s determined to do exercise, whatever, come what may.
And so, she sets off walking and does two miles every day.
After a week of isolation, she should be 14 miles away
Since we’re all locked down in social isolation”
© Trev Gouldin (April 2020)
For more information about Rotherham U3A visit www.u3asites.org.uk/rotherham.